Lean and Hungry
by MidnightGoddess2112
Summary: My attempt to write from the POV of my favorite Shakespeare character. He always reminded me of me, so it should be easy! Slash. All bolded text is Shakespeare's.
1. Chapter 1

All eyes were on Caesar as he finished speaking. He looked down at his audience like a king surveying his subjects. Did he fancy himself ruler already?  
I knew that he did. My eyes were weaker than most other men's, yet in some ways so much sharper. I had always been able to see through people, look behind their faces, words, and deeds, and view their true intentions. In Caesar's case, I saw beyond the wise words and noble countenance to the ambition and cowardice inside. He wanted nothing more than to dominate these people, and we both knew it.

Well, there was one man, among all Rome, that he would never rule! My hand strayed to the dagger at my side. I had been born as free as the wind that whistled in the trees, and I intended to die that way. My dagger had helped me out of many a tight spot in the past, but should Caesar or any other man take the throne, I would not hesitate to plunge it into my own breast.  
Weren't all of us here human, from the lowliest commoner to the noblest senator? Why should any creature become greater than others of his kind? It seemed to me preposterous. Not only that, but I alone knew that for all his supposed bravery, the man was a coward. What of Rome then?

As I turned to leave, I spotted Caesar speaking with someone who looked very familiar. Marcus Brutus, my oldest and dearest friend, and the one as high in Caesar's regard as Antony, if not higher.  
An unfamiliar emotion, envy, flooded me as I watched them. I wasn't given to coveting what other people possessed. To do so would be foolish, and I was no fool. But as I watched Brutus's face, I wished with all my heart that, just once, he would look at me the way he was now looking at Caesar.


	2. Chapter 2

Brutus and I watched Caesar and his entourage leave.  
**"Will you go see the order of the course?"** I asked.  
**"Not I."  
"I pray you, do."**  
He shook his head. **"I am not gamesome; I do lack some part of that quick spirit that is in Antony. Let me not hinder, Cassius, your desires. I'll leave** **you."  
**I caught his wrist as he turned to leave. "Brutus, don't go. This is the first time we've been alone together in ages."  
Brutus nodded. "You're right. I didn't have anything to do anyway. Staying and talking with an old friend never hurts."

I tilted my head and looked him in the eye. **"Brutus, I do observe you now of late. I have not from your eyes that gentleness and show of love that I was wont to have. You bear too stubborn and too strange a hand over your friend that loves you." **  
Brutus's gaze softened and he put a hand on my shoulder. **"Cassius, be not deceived. If I have veiled my look, I turn the trouble of my countenance merely upon myself. Vexed I am of late with passions of some difference, conceptions only proper to myself, which give some soil, perhaps, to my behaviors. But let not therefore my good friends be grieved-among which number, Cassius, be you one-nor construe any further my neglect than that poor Brutus, with himself at war, forgets the shows of love to other men." **

I was relieved. **"Then, Brutus, I have much mistook your passion, by means whereof this breast of mine hath buried thoughts of great value, worthy cogitations. Tell me, good Brutus, can you see your face?"**  
His brow furrowed. **"No, Cassius; for the eye sees not itself but by reflection, by some other things."**  
I nodded. **"'Tis just; and it is very much lamented, Brutus, that you have no such mirrors as will turn your hidden worthiness into your eye, that you might see your shadow. I have heard where many of the best respect in Rome-except immortal Caesar-speaking of Brutus, and groaning underneath this age's yoke, have wished that noble Brutus had his eyes." **

Brutus's hand fell off my shoulder, and he stepped back. **"Into what dangers would you lead me, Cassius, that you would have me seek into myself for that which is not in me?"  
"Therefore, good Brutus, be prepared to hear. And since you know you cannot see yourself so well as by reflection, I, your glass, will modestly discover to yourself that of yourself which yet you know not of. And be not jealous on me, gentle Brutus. Were I a common laugher, or did use to stale with ordinary oaths my love to every new protester; if you know that I do fawn on men, and hug them hard, and after scandal them; or if you know that I profess myself in banqueting to all the rout, then hold me dangerous." **

Trumpets sounded in the distance, and I heard people shouting. Brutus heard it too. **"What means this shouting? I do fear the people choose Caesar for their king." **  
I tried to conceal my excitement. **"Ay, do you fear it? Then I must think you would not have it so."  
"I would not, Cassius, yet I love him well. But wherefore do you hold me here so long? What is it that you would impart to me? If it be aught toward the general good, set honor in one eye, and death i' th' other, and I will look on both indifferently; for let the gods so speed me as I love the name of honor more than I fear death."  
"I know that virtue to be in you, Brutus, as well as I do know your outward favor. Well, honor is the subject of my story. I cannot tell what you and other men think of this life; but for my single self, I had as lief not be as live to be in awe of such a thing as I myself."** I proceeded to tell the story of how Caesar had challenged me to a race in the churning, violent river, but I'd ended up having to rescue him before either one of us could win. **"And this man is now become a god, and Cassius is a wretched creature, and must bend his body if Caesar carelessly but nod on him. He had a fever when he was in Spain, and when the fit was on him I did mark how he did shake. 'Tis true, this god did shake! His coward lips did from their color fly, and that same eye whose bend doth awe the world did lose his luster. I did hear him groan-ay, and that tongue of his that bade the Romans mark him, and write his speeches in their books, alas, it cried 'Give me some drink, Titinius,' as a sick girl. Ye gods, it doth amaze me a man of such feeble temper should so get the start of the majestic world and bear the palm alone." **

I paused to take a breath. More trumpets roared.  
**"Another general shout?"** Brutus asked. **"I do believe that these applauses are for some new honors heaped on Caesar."  
****"Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a Colossus, and we petty men walk under his huge legs and peep about to find ourselves dishonorable graves. Men at some time are masters of their fates. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings. 'Brutus' and 'Caesar': what should be in that 'Caesar'? Why should that name be sounded more than yours? Write them together, yours is as fair a name. Sound them, it doth become the mouth as well. Weigh them, it is as heavy. Conjure with 'em, 'Brutus' will start a spirit as soon as 'Caesar.' Now in the names of all gods at once, upon what meat doth this our Caesar feed that he has grown so great?" **I clenched my fists. **"Age, thou art shamed! Rome, thou hast lost the breed of noble bloods! When went there by an age, since the great flood, but it was famed with more than one man? When could they say, till now, that talked of Rome, that her wide walks encompassed but one man? Now it is Rome indeed, and room enough, when there is in it but only one man." **I stared deep into Brutus's eyes. **"O, you and I have heard our fathers say, there was a Brutus once that would have brooked th' eternal devil to keep his state in Rome as easily as a king." **

Brutus stood there, frowning slightly, as he always did when he was thinking very hard about something. Finally he spoke. **"That you do love me, I am nothing jealous. What you would work me to, I have some aim. How I have thought of this, and of these times, I shall recount hereafter. For this present, I would not, so with love I might entreat you, be any further moved. What you have said I will consider; what you have to say I will with patience hear, and find a time both meet to hear and answer such high things. Till then, my noble friend, chew on this: Brutus had rather be a villager than to repute himself a son of Rome under these hard conditions as this time is likely to lay upon us."  
"I am glad that my weak words have struck but thus much show of fire from Brutus," **I said, with absolute sincerity.


	3. Chapter 3

**"What a blunt fellow is this grown to be!"** Brutus remarked to Casca's retreating back. **"He was quick mettle when he went to school." **  
I nodded thoughtfully. **"So is he now in execution of any bold or noble enterprise, however he puts on this tardy form. This rudeness is a sauce to his good wit, which gives men stomach to digest his words with better appetite."  
"And so it is," **Brutus agreed. **"For this time I will leave you. Tomorrow, if you please to speak with me, I will come home to you: or, if you will, come home to me, and I will wait for you."  
"I will do so. Till then, think of the world."**  
Brutus nodded. "I will. Farewell, Caius."  
"Farewell, Marcus," I said softly. Brutus left.

I had overheard what Caesar had said to Antony about me. The old man knew me better than I thought. So he thought I was too slender? Let him! I liked my body; I preferred it to the rounder, plumper forms of my neighbors. Too thin to be trusted! Imagine such a thing.

I knew what Caesar thought of me. He thought that I was a man without feelings, without a heart. But that was not true. I had a heart that felt just as deeply as that of any other man. Especially for one person in particular...No, I wouldn't let my thoughts stray in that direction tonight.

Whatever he might have told Antony, Caesar feared me. Of this I was sure. "As well you should, Julius," I whispered to the air. Oh, if only he knew. Contempt for the old, cowardly fool rose in my breast, accompanied by determination. Whatever had to be done to ensure that liberty reigned once more, I would do it. And I knew who else would, too.

**"Well, Brutus, thou are noble, yet I see thy honorable mettle may be wrought from that it is disposed,"** I said softly. **"Therefore it is meet that noble minds keep ever with their likes; for who so firm that cannot be seduced? Caesar doth bear me hard, but he loves Brutus. If I were Brutus now, and he were Cassius, he should not humor me. I will this night, in several hands, in at his windows throw, as if they came from several citizens, writings, all tending to the great opinion that Rome holds of his name, wherein obscurely Caesar's ambition shall be glanced at."** I permitted a smile to creep across my face. "**And after this let Caesar seat him sure, for we will shake him, or worse days endure." **

The sun had set, and a few stars had come out. With a light heart and a determined mind, I turned around and headed for home.


End file.
